Buddie Crowder places a granite headstone on a grave at Raleigh Memorial Park in Raleigh, N.C. on Sept. 26. Crowder has been the head groundskeeper at the cemetery for 10 years, and has been a cemetery groundskeeper for over 30 years, since he was in high school. “I’ve seen just about everything,” Crowder says.Crowder chats with cemetery specialist Zac Wagner as he digs a new grave on Sept. 28. His specialists are essential in helping him with daily tasks, which include digging at least 3 graves a day and burying about 2-3 graves a day. “Too much work, not enough hours in the day for me,” Crowder says.Crowder rests briefly after a day of digging, cleaning, and managing cemetery operations. Crowder often spends more time at the cemetery than he does anywhere else, arriving early in the mornings and leaving late at night with few breaks. “I’ve been out here by myself from dark to dark, diggin’ graves,” Crowder says. “It takes a toll on you, but you get used to it.”Crowder rests his hand on his son Hayden’s shoulder at the State Farmers Market in Raleigh, N.C. on Oct. 1, 2023. When he returns home after a day at the graveyard, Crowder is a father to two children. He feels that being constantly surrounded by death is a poignant reminder of the importance of family. “It makes me a better family member,” Crowder says. “This is it. This is people’s final resting place. It makes me think how I can make use of what little time I have to be a better caregiver to my family.”Crowder plays catch with his two dogs, Bruno and Adia, as Hayden carries the family’s cat, Gracie, to the backyard of their home in Selma, N.C. “This is what we do everyday“ says Crowder. “You do so much work, you just want to have fun after work.”Crowder sits in a deer stand with his hunting crossbow and patiently waits for a deer to stroll by in the woods of Selma, N.C. “This is my down time,” says Crowder. “No kids, no work, nobody botherin’ me. I could sit out here all day.”With the help of his friend Josh Ervin, Crowder drags a deer he has killed into the back of his truck. Crowder first met Ervin in 2018, and the two became close as they shared their past stories. Crowder’s father died of a heart attack at 55 years old, and both his brother and nephew died when Crowder was young. “It’s one thing when you’re in the cemetery and you see it all the time,” Crowder says about death. “But you got to keep the deer population down. So it’s different.”Crowder finishes digging a grave by hand at Raleigh Memorial Park. Death is unavoidable for Crowder. He sees it at his job, through his hobbies, and has experienced the tragic loss of loved ones throughout his life. “I do think about death,” Crowder says. “I think about who would take care of my family. How would the people that love me deal with that? If I die, I don’t care. But the people that love me, yep.”Crowder lowers a cremation urn into the ground at a small funeral service at Raleigh Memorial Park on Sept. 28. Hundreds of families bury their loved ones at Raleigh Memorial Park each year, and Crowder often wonders how they died. “If you think about it, everybody eats, everybody gets sick, everybody dies,” Crowder says. “Sometimes it’s better not to know why, and to just let them be.”Crowder cleans up fallen flowers throughout the cemetery. Crowder believes that taking care of the dead does make a difference, because the spirits of those who have passed carry on to an afterlife. “My dad always used to love bluebirds, and now I see them all the time,” Crowder contemplates. “So I do think there is an afterlife.”Crowder stands in the doorway of the mausoleum at Raleigh Memorial Cemetery and looks out upon the landscape of the graveyard. “This is all I know,” Crowder says.
